so unreal

try again,
don't try again.
don't try to guess whats in my head

you try to live with soul for awhile,
but you give up with resistance.
the world has far more style,
and soul becomes past tense.

see the world as life playground
don't skin your knees in the dirt.
if you fall out of the tree,
get up and climb a little higher.
but if the tree push's you out,
does that make you a liar?
the grounds getting farther every time,
this time when you break your neck,
does that make you wiser?

its so nice to see you
your a good friend of mine

its so nice to be with you,
you don't really mind?

i'm too close to feel you,
i must be terrified.

there is a cold breeze out
that keeps my heart trapped in my head
there is a frozen rain out
that sucks the heat from my hand

we can both see the sun from here
but we'll never reach it
to far to head out
no strength on my own

i look back with little regrets
at what we left behind
sometimes i only regret it
took me so long
to leave you behind
but then it was also without pain
like snake shedding skin

its funny how the mind plays tricks

I never knew you but i miss you
you never talked to me
but how i wished you would
i obeyed your orders
although you never gave them to me
saluted, when you weren't looking
and shouted at you when you did
but you never saw me
amidst it all

its funny how the mind plays tricks

I know your real, cause your in my head
but the mind creates its own realities
I know you feel, or so you said
its easy to believe when you want to
but not when you feel you ought to

you find it funny how you get your kicks?
watch us like a movie and play your tricks?
tell us what we want to hear
but never follow through
tell us you'll be over here
and watch us wait for you

but my mind creates its own reality
i find it funny that i thought that was you
i still have my unanswered question though
Who are you?

I fell asleep with my face on the dashboard while waiting for you
I dreamed that I saw you standing in a feild
all around you was war, but you saw only roses
you danced and spun and sang, while daydreaming of brighter days to come

then for a second I saw life through your eyes
on a warm summers day, I saw a cool wind blowing through a tall grass plain
in the distance was a sturdy oak tree you wished to sit under if it weren't for the walk.
on the horizon were dark clouds foreboading signs of weather,
but you chose to spin and dance and sing, ignoring the sign of whats to come

now i'm back where I started
all around you is a battlefield, I try to lend a hand help you along
but you stare at me suspiciously, oblivious to your surounding dancing towards a dark horizon
and I wish that you could trust me, or that I could see the world through your eyes,
and live obliviously, only dimly aware.

I dreamt I knew you, and understood you,
and was closer to you than any friend.
You knew me and accepted me, for all I was and am.
I dreamt love and forgivenes could conquer anything,
and we walked forward together, hand in hand.

Now that illusion is shattered,
and a real person stands before me
to my surprise a more fragile, more delicate,
more hurt person, than I imagined.
with all your hopes and dreams,
like a butterfly, in the palms of your hands

I look around me to see shattered illusions,
and broken mirrors
some swept away, some remain,
others refrain;
my life is broken glass.

now i'm awake, to cold to dream.

its amazing how things can change in an instant.
its amazing how fast you can loose your closest friend, how easy it is to give up.
its astonishing how the words 'I don't have feelings for you anymore' can change everything.
a relationship, a friendship, a school year, my life - forever.

God, I'm glad you don't give up on me like everyone else does.
God, I hope your looking out for me, cause no one else is.

I don't understand how something that ended before it started, can make me feel so empty, hollow, dead.
I don't want to think about the time you said you couldn't stand the thought of losing me.
I don't want to think about how you said you'd never give up on me.
But there it is. Glaring at me. Mocking me, like a slap in the face.

I can't stand to see you happy when every moment is agony and misery for me.

I'd like to live my life and move on, but the physical pain inside me won't let me forget.
Tearing at me, clawing at me, trying to break free, escape from this hollow shell.

I poured my life in a glass, to get it splashed back in my face.
God help me pick up the pieces, they just run through my fingers.